ALEX Short and overly confident, with a predilection for peacockery. An anal control freak, but constantly claims otherwise. Classic Napoleonic overcompensation complex.
JESS Tallest character by far. Physical movements often wildly exaggerated and performed with rapid velocity. Always wearing the same outfit (brown hoodie and khaki pants) but underneath are multiple layers of various clothes, constantly changing.
EL PODEROSO A recent model Chevy C2 with the "Comfort" trim level. Frail looking but courageous, fancies himself the modern reincarnation of Che. Starts off wearing an immaculate white jacket, white pants, and white ostrich-skin boots.
EL IPODITO Short and squatty, wearing an outfit exactly the opposite of EL PODEROSO; his boots are black caiman. Possesses an inordinately loud singing voice. EL PEE Lonely Planet guidebook, dressed like Ask Jeeves butler (although the tux starts off slightly frayed and by the end is completely tattered and in shambles), always at the ready with wacky irreverent quips and useless maps. RAYMOND Indie-rocker-Asian-playboy-member-of- the-Chinese-mafia-slightly-rough-around- the-edges-but-in-an-endearing-way-not- uncouth-way-mildly-hyperactive type of guy. MARISCOS Various delicious looking creatures from the sea. LA POLICIA Gruff looking and squat. Wearing Gap hoodies and large guns.
RABID WOLVERINES Raucous, prone to violence; reside in both ALEX'S and JESS' stomachs. JOHN MAYER Curly haired, somewhat effete looking.